Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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