i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
