You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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