just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
