Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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