Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
