it wasn't lemon gatorade
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
