i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
