its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize