wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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