using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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