This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
