I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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