Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There's always time for handjobs
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
