just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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