What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Semen is not good for contacts.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
