what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
