we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
