i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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