what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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