I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
