I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
