im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think your dad took our porno
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
