explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
