I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
