I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
