you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
