listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
His nipple licking is glorious
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