After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
