are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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