Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
