Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
