i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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