I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
did i just pee glitter
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
