Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
