Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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