do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
