Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
