i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
as a side note pls kill me
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
