i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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