So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
