so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
