no, he came in my armpit
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
