just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
