Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I hate all girls vehemently.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
