dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
