forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My ass is underappreciated
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
