i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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