No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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