I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
