We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
