I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
