no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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