Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
