When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
