LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
