i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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