RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
