I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
