I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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